Comment:
I am very impressed with the way you have constructed this essay. The introduction clearly addresses the question, and each paragraph deals with one or two points – and most contain specific examples which are sometimes examined in some detail. You show a confident understanding of some of the mechanisms of spoken language and text language and you also have an appreciation of how the way we speak can influence people’s opinion about us – or how it can indicate things about us, like our age, location and level of education.
Areas you may wish to develop:
- Your introductory paragraph should provide a ‘roadmap’ to the points you’re planning to make in your essay – helping your reader to get an idea of what the over-all structure of your response will be. Normally this is done by identifying each point in the order you’re going to explore them.
- You sometimes miss key components of paragraphs. Your strength is in the broader understanding – but you must always support every point you make with detailed examples, and you then must expand on how those examples prove your point. (your paragraph on paralinguistic features DOES do this)
- You would be encouraged to explore a wider range of features in more detail. You missed opportunities to show what you understand about slang and idiolect by omitting any detailed reference to these features
- Keep working on the spelling and punctuation accuracy of your work.
React!